Wednesday, April 8

Back to pictures!

Hello blog : )
Is it weird that I feel like I need to reintroduce myself on my own blog?
I want to get back into photography. So, if anyone is still out there, I'm going to be posting some pictures. No more melodramatic articles about silly stuff that doesn't matter. Nobody likes that. Get stoked! I'm excited, anyway.
Okay, well, that's all I had to say. Bye!

Friday, September 14

A crazy thought.

Hello, I'm sorry that I disappeared, again. My life took on a whole new direction, and I wanted to tell you a bit about it.

When I was in middle school, a palm reader spoke in a class one day, just for entertainment. Naturally I had my palm read! I don't believe in it at all, but who doesn't want their palm read. She told me that my life line was extremely short, it stopped somewhere in my 20's. I just turned 20 on Wednesday, so obviously this silly little encounter has been on my mind. She said it was the shortest she'd ever seen. She felt bad for saying this, because all the kids around me started laughing and saying I was doomed, so she pointed out an extra line I have on my palm, that starts a bit before my life line ends and wraps around my thumb like a normal life line would. She said maybe my life could go two ways, and if it did jump to that other line, I'd be able to live longer. I do not believe in palm readers. Or crystal balls, or any kind of abra cadabra sort of mischief. I do believe in strings though. Strings that tie things together through time so that we can make connections in our mind, opening our eyes to God's immensely complicated plan for each of us.

I absolutely believe that my life has jumped, and is now speeding along in a completely different direction than it was before. It wasn't a smooth transition, a calm change over. It was a violent ripping, like a flash of lightning instead of the slow creeping in of the sun. The static electricity built in my life until it exploded with a boom of confusion. And yet the strings remained, anchoring me to my past, and pulling me to my future.

I'm obsessed with a book, called Cloud Atlas. It's about the same spirit, coming back over and over throughout time. He meets a woman he'd known in a previous life and falls in love instantly. How close this is to truth! I believe in a life before this one. Not a reincarnation or an echo or a shadow, but a continuation behind me and in front. And I know this because I met someone that I knew before, and I knew it instantly. There are strings tying our lives together, and tying our lives to others, that transcend birthdays and obituaries.

You are absolutely allowed to think I'm nuts : ) But, am I, really? Or have I got a point here.

I get married in 14 days. Not until death do us part, but for time and all eternity. Not only to have and to hold, but to build up, and create a new reality with. What a blessing, a string worth following, and never letting go of. Except, when I imagine the string that ties together David and I, it looks more like a steel I beam haha. We have our struggles, like every other human being on the planet, but we have conquered every single challenge that we have run across or created, together.

Einstein, one of the greatest minds ever to find a voice, summed up what I am trying to say here,

   "...for us physicists believe the separation between past, present, and future is only an illusion, although a convincing one."

Everything is connected, time is a fabric that moves and bends to the weight of the events it cradles. And the fact that remembering what the love of my soul looked like so that I could find him lasted from before I was born to the moment I saw him through the window tells me that he wasiswillbe a weight so great in my life, that he is the foundation on which we can build that new reality.

I encourage you all to examine what now draws you forward or drags you backward. What strings do you cut and which do you follow into the unknown. There is an end to all of them, and those that resonate within you as their chords are struck are the ones that lead you back to the Lord.

Thursday, June 7

My new direction

My life has been speeding toward a career, education, and general awesomeness ever since I cognitively realized I could do anything I wanted to. That career was military, the education was from the military, and the general awesomeness was because I would be in the military. I had no doubts that this would be my life, until I raced someone last June. I met the love of my life! And I didn't just meet him. I saw him driving and fell in love before we even pulled off the road and started talking. And who can blame me? Look how cute he is!

So going to school in Georgia was a fight, but I loved it. I loved the military lifestyle mixed with a crazy college experience. But living apart from my sweet heart was hard, and with all of the challenges that have come from Georgia Tech and my scholarship, I've decided not to go back. I'm not relieved. I'm giving up my dream! But I know I'm giving it up for something better. So now my life is taking on a whole new direction. I've started one life, found my soul mate, changed all of my life goals, moved across the country, been in the military, got a motorcycle, and I'm not even 20 years old yet. Now I'm starting over, applying to the local University, and I'm going into something I've always enjoyed as a hobby. I'll be studying linguistics, maybe majoring in Chinese or Spanish or both. Who knows? That right there is terrifying and thrilling for me, because I've ALWAYS had a plan that covered everything for at least thirty years. Now I don't. But I do know one thing. I have the love of my life, and my family. 
So, there's my decision. I won't go into the nitty gritty of it all, just know that I'm on the road to being happy with everything I have, trusting the Lord, and being excited for my new future. Wish me luck! Hopefully there will be more posts to come about how things are shaping up. Hope you are doing well.

Saturday, April 14

Something bigger

I won't pretend that I don't LOVE wearing this uniform. I think I look pretty good! Only a few weeks left until I get to go home, and then I get deployed, and then I go home again! It'll be pretty intense. While I was walking around in this terribly cool uniform, I was thinking am I a part of something bigger, or apart from something bigger? No idea. Wish me luck!

Saturday, March 31

It's been too long

I come back to my beloved blog to find adds and spam in my comments, and dusty entries about a me that has long since gone.

I apologize for disappearing.

I am still in the military, going to school, and engaged. But slowly I'm coming to the realization that I can't have everything I want. I need to make my decisions with two in mind now, which is hard. I need to decide whether or not being home is really going to effect my family THAT much. If I'm deployed for the first five years of marriage, what kind of marriage is that? I've wrestled with the issue for months, but feel free to share your opinion. I have five months to make the decision to get out or stay in the Navy. So, in five months, expect a very big post.

The picture is my fiance and I halfway through on of my favorite hikes in Zion National Park. We got to spend a whole week together last month, the first time I'd seen him since he proposed to me. I miss my fiance.

Sunday, February 26

How much can you ask?

The challenges that face each of us are unfathomably large. And we've been asked to overcome them. Not alone, thank goodness. But how much is it okay to ask of others, so that you can get over your own wall? Anyone know? Is there a line drawn in the concrete that clearly defines what is too far? I'd love to know it.

Wednesday, January 25

I've typed up my little life story

You can read it here, if you like. Have a wonderful day!