Tuesday, July 29


My amazing mentor in photography just opened his studio, and I was so impressed, it's just fantastic. He called me and had me come mop the floors and such, as nothing was really ready for the open house that was only six hours away. But it was fun, I was glad to have the opportunity to help someone who's helped me so much with photography. So now he's official, his name is in the window and he's downtown rockin' his amazing skills. One of the things Duston does is that he only shoots with film, and doesn't overkill on photoshop. I love that, it takes talent to do it, belive me, I've tried film and failed miserably. I overheard him talking to a client, saying he's one of the few anymore that bothers with film, and I wonder why that is. Film has a really good natural look in it, and the lighting has more depth in my oppinion. So I'll have to keep practicing, hopefully I'll get to be as good as he is. Oh! and as payment he gave me my favorite picture that he's taken! Can you guess what it's of..? That's right! Venice of course.

Sunday, July 20

Light Is Color

I love black and white pictures.

Tuesday, July 15


I wandered around downtown, and this is what I ended up with. I learned a couple things, like never buy lemonaid from the KwikyMart, always look a little mean if you're wandering around back allies, never get too deep into a conversation with a photographer about stained glass windows, and holy water smells funny. I hope your monday was as enjoyable as mine.

Sunday, July 13

"Thoughts of a Dying Atheist"

Well. I have no idea how to organize my thoughts, so I've decided to spill every single one of them right here. First of all, I have one major insecurity in life. I am afraid of failure. And I seem to fail an awful lot. I put a year of devotion to a college class, pushed through the ten page papers due every week and the mosterous project, didn't sleep, didn't eat, and for what? To fail the end test. I thought I had done my best, and I was confident in my abililty to pass. But I didn't. Now I face my fear of being a complete failure, and I've started to think about dropping out of concurrent enrollment, not doing volleyball, and not entering the flight program. What if I just can't do it? Now I have to stand next to my brilliant friends who all passed, and my hope is that I can hide in their shadow. I wanted to be a pilot, and a photographer, but I don't know if I can. I'm tired of people telling me that I can do things, and I end up failing. I'm tired of people telling me I'm perfect, beautiful, smart. Because I'm really not. I've lost my support that I've had for four years, Brayden I miss you terribly, and the way I talked to you was wrong. You're a friend I feel like I can't get by without, and so if you happen to read this, know that I will always think about you, and I want to talk to you. A couple days ago I ripped apart my room, I tore every quote, ribbon, medal, picture and drawing off. I need a clean slate. I think that I've been trying to change myself to fit in a little too much. I miss how I was at the arts academy I went to, with a few exceptions. I have my own sunshine now that helps me to see what I aspire to be, Josh will always be my hero that way. I owe him more than what I could ever repay. Even if the things I hope for never come true, at least I have something to hope for. Right now, that's all I can ask for. And I need to talk to Clint, because I have this horrible feeling that I've done something wrong, and I need to fix it. Clint you are such a good friend, please don't turn your back on me now. I need someone to hold my hand so that I can pick myself back up. For a while I thought that this was it. My last great failure, and I would never try again. But, sometimes you've got to soldier on. I just need someone to tell me it's okay. The world has started to crush me, it's too dark and so unwilling to smile, I need sunshine in my life.

Friday, July 4


Dismissed from drama school with a note saying "Waisting her time. She's too shy to put her best foot forward."

-Lucille Ball

Turned down by the Decker Recording Company who said "We don't like their sound. And guitar music is on the way out."

-The Beatles

A failed soldier, farmer and realistate agent. At thirty eight years old he worked for his father as a handyman.

-Ullysses S. Grant

Cut from the highschool basketball team, he went home, locked himself in his room and cried.

-Micheal Jordan

A teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything, and he should go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality.

-Thomas Edison

Fired from a newspaper because he "Lacked Imagination" and had no original ideas.

-Walter Disney

His fiance died, he failed in business twice, he had a nervous breakdown and he was defeated in eight elections.

-Abraham Lincoln

If you've never failed, you've never lived.