Saturday, March 31

It's been too long

I come back to my beloved blog to find adds and spam in my comments, and dusty entries about a me that has long since gone.


I apologize for disappearing.

I am still in the military, going to school, and engaged. But slowly I'm coming to the realization that I can't have everything I want. I need to make my decisions with two in mind now, which is hard. I need to decide whether or not being home is really going to effect my family THAT much. If I'm deployed for the first five years of marriage, what kind of marriage is that? I've wrestled with the issue for months, but feel free to share your opinion. I have five months to make the decision to get out or stay in the Navy. So, in five months, expect a very big post.

The picture is my fiance and I halfway through on of my favorite hikes in Zion National Park. We got to spend a whole week together last month, the first time I'd seen him since he proposed to me. I miss my fiance.

4 comments:

Jack said...

Hello, my young friend. It has indeed been too long. I come back by for a visit, and I see this picture, and I have to say this one more time: YOU look at this picture. Do you look happier than this when you're in your classes? Do you look happier than this when you're on the drill field? Do you look happier than this EVER? If you can answer yes to any of these questions, then that's what you need to be doing for the rest of your life. I promise you, nobody ever laid on their death bed and sobbed because they did too many things that made them happy!

I'm rooting for you, little girl. The world is full of promise for a bright young person. It's all laid out in front of you, but there is a limit to how much of it you can immerse yourself in; choose wisely...

Varied Imperfection said...

Oh my, you grew up fast, didn't you?

I'm proud of you. You've done quite well for yourself since first we met.

I present to you my opinion. It varies from other peoples opinions, but that's the nature of these things.

You are in quite the predicament. On the one hand, you're engaged. Wow. Congratulations! I'm incredibly happy for you, I believe this picture shows that you are, indeed, happy. That's fantastic.

On the other hand, you landed one hell of a deal to further your education and potential career. Obviously, these two fantastic achievements are somewhat conflicting. Are they uncooperative together? I would think not. Would you have a difficult road ahead? Oh my, yes.
Both are, however, capable of living together.

Now, my opinion. I would love to see you continue to further your education and your career; You've worked incredibly hard to get what you have, and now it's time to reap the rewards. ...with more hard work. In the end, you would be incredibly satisfied with yourself.

I realize it would be one hell of a distraction and hurdle to do so while married, however. The balance is possible, but the decision is something you alone can decide. Obviously, were one to be sacrificed, it would be your schooling. Happiness as you have appeared to find is not something to throw away for anything.

I've long been watching your progress, knowing that you are capable of incredible things. I would love to see you achieve your goals.

I will not, however, hold any ill-regard should you decide to drop out of school. I don't think you should, but, hey, my opinion should in no way be a deal-breaker.

You will make the choice that you will, and I wish you luck in making that decision; I can only imagine the difficulty. But I will support you, whatever that actually means to you. I wish you luck, and I wish you congratulations on all that you have achieved in the short span that you have lived. May the rest of your life be equally filled with success.

Courtney said...

Hello,

I happened upon your blog on complete accident, but then again, I don't really believe in accdients. Especially since I stumbled upon your blog in a similar situation. I am engaged as well, my wedding is in May. Since I was 18 I wanted to join the USN but kept myself from doing so with silly excuses because I just wasn't ready. I will have finished my AA in May and had intent of transferring to a different school to finish. That's when it struck me that I'm not sure I want to go through with my plan. I'm not the kind of person who can just do an everyday job, I'm restless. In researching I have found that rather than the Navy, the USCG would better suit me. But I'm not just making the decisions for myself anymore, I have to also consider my fiance. How are you dealing and how do you discuss this with your fiance?

Courtney

Anonymous said...

You know better than any other what you need to be fulfilled. Identify who you want to be and what you want to mean as a person. You have been working toward the same goal for years on end, but now something else has come up. You've found someone who you love, but they don't want a military wife. You need to decide if it's worth it to give up your dreams for this man. And likewise you need to decide if it's worth it to give up this man for your dreams. I, too, have faced this situation. I have repeatedly found that "we mustn't let our passions destroy are dreams" has been a phrase with all too insightful of a grasp on life. I, for one, do not want to face judgement never having accomplished everything that I could. There are always other people to love you, but there are rarely other chances to be all that you can be. When it comes down to it you need to do what makes you happy, but don't act for the sake of fear. If you love him more than you love your dreams then be with him. But if you are afraid to be alone, don't be. You know someone in your life who cares about you and will love you. You will always find a way.

I feel that I've used enough cliche lines for one day. I don't want to see you give up on your dreams and not use all of that potential that you have. I'd recommend finding someone who wants you to be all you can be and cares about you deeply. But I am not you, and I cannot make your decision. I hope you find peace.

-Z