Friday, September 14

A crazy thought.

Hello, I'm sorry that I disappeared, again. My life took on a whole new direction, and I wanted to tell you a bit about it.

When I was in middle school, a palm reader spoke in a class one day, just for entertainment. Naturally I had my palm read! I don't believe in it at all, but who doesn't want their palm read. She told me that my life line was extremely short, it stopped somewhere in my 20's. I just turned 20 on Wednesday, so obviously this silly little encounter has been on my mind. She said it was the shortest she'd ever seen. She felt bad for saying this, because all the kids around me started laughing and saying I was doomed, so she pointed out an extra line I have on my palm, that starts a bit before my life line ends and wraps around my thumb like a normal life line would. She said maybe my life could go two ways, and if it did jump to that other line, I'd be able to live longer. I do not believe in palm readers. Or crystal balls, or any kind of abra cadabra sort of mischief. I do believe in strings though. Strings that tie things together through time so that we can make connections in our mind, opening our eyes to God's immensely complicated plan for each of us.

I absolutely believe that my life has jumped, and is now speeding along in a completely different direction than it was before. It wasn't a smooth transition, a calm change over. It was a violent ripping, like a flash of lightning instead of the slow creeping in of the sun. The static electricity built in my life until it exploded with a boom of confusion. And yet the strings remained, anchoring me to my past, and pulling me to my future.

I'm obsessed with a book, called Cloud Atlas. It's about the same spirit, coming back over and over throughout time. He meets a woman he'd known in a previous life and falls in love instantly. How close this is to truth! I believe in a life before this one. Not a reincarnation or an echo or a shadow, but a continuation behind me and in front. And I know this because I met someone that I knew before, and I knew it instantly. There are strings tying our lives together, and tying our lives to others, that transcend birthdays and obituaries.

You are absolutely allowed to think I'm nuts : ) But, am I, really? Or have I got a point here.

I get married in 14 days. Not until death do us part, but for time and all eternity. Not only to have and to hold, but to build up, and create a new reality with. What a blessing, a string worth following, and never letting go of. Except, when I imagine the string that ties together David and I, it looks more like a steel I beam haha. We have our struggles, like every other human being on the planet, but we have conquered every single challenge that we have run across or created, together.

Einstein, one of the greatest minds ever to find a voice, summed up what I am trying to say here,

   "...for us physicists believe the separation between past, present, and future is only an illusion, although a convincing one."

Everything is connected, time is a fabric that moves and bends to the weight of the events it cradles. And the fact that remembering what the love of my soul looked like so that I could find him lasted from before I was born to the moment I saw him through the window tells me that he wasiswillbe a weight so great in my life, that he is the foundation on which we can build that new reality.

I encourage you all to examine what now draws you forward or drags you backward. What strings do you cut and which do you follow into the unknown. There is an end to all of them, and those that resonate within you as their chords are struck are the ones that lead you back to the Lord.